Sometimes I just look at things in home decorating stores and have to ask WHY. Why, why, why. With this question freshly searing the inner cables of my mind, I have decided to document a few of my life questions regarding table lamps.
Our first offender is a horse lamp, with the inner belly of the steed providing little useful light and therefore leading one to believe that the lamp is for decorative purposes; this leaves me asking, who decorates a room with statuettes of badly proportioned galloping ponies?
Our next contestant on "Who Would Buy this Even with 70% Off" is a seemingly well made piece not unlike the golden calfs mentioned in the Bible. This modern day farm version in which the rooster is skewered as a kabab for those who like to carry around their pocket idols or attempt to eat them afterwards, is perfect for people allergic to real animals or unable to fulfill their lifelong dreams of owning chickens. Wavy accent lampshade available in red or any other color you see fit to compliment this weird thing-a-ma-jig, and female hens available on special order request. 
The next lamp seems to belong in the home of an elderly individual in which there are large collections of creepy Swarovski crystal and tempered glass figurines neatly arranged above wicker baskets of crossword puzzles and home recorded vhs tapes. Bulbs guaranteed to burn out during first two months of ownership. 
This lamp makes me hungry to visit the candy factories of Willy Wonka as I stare into the hypnotic beaded fringe. Useful for, let me see... absolutely nothing except a three dollar tax exemption at the local Goodwill 5 years after Great Auntie Ruthanne regifted it to you for Christmas '99
Why? 
1 comment:
The "hard-candy" lamp is gross, but I find the horse very proportional.
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