That's Childish Behavior, Julia

I made two friends today, the first is the painting lady, Loraine, with whom I shared a cup of tea and fruit scone with while discussing 7/11(she meant the World Trade Center bombing, which happened to be 9/11 and not a chain convenience store), the second friend is blanched asparagus. 

Those who know me well may also know that cooking has not been my strong point in the past(i.e. salt cookie poisoning 99',  several soggy mystery concoctions, frequent explosions via microwave, brick cupcakes, etcetera, etcetera). But to all the naysayers out there, I would like to announce that I am becoming a master chef(or at least working on my cooking skills).  A photo of delicious vegetarian cuisine I personally created last night is now posted, so there. 

Pictured: Blanched peppered asparagus, lemon seared quorn(faux chicken)salad with red, yellow and green pepper, mushrooms, rocket and spinach, blackened herb courgettes(zucchini) and sweet corn. It was actually really good and almost all the food was organic. 

Take that Top Chef! Sure Loraine may not be around anymore due to the hallway being completely lacquered, but at least I have more asparagus. 

Please Mind the Gap

When a person hears "Please Mind the Gap" it doesn't mean obey a chain clothing store in the mall, no, not at all; it means to be careful of the space between the pavement and the underground train car. Noticing this, I have documented a few other signs I saw around London that are sure to be misunderstood or are in general, odd.

Does this mean the zoo expects the lions will be escaping anytime soon?

Normally, one would think the zoo would have a large sign made with bold print letters communicating this, but I absolutely love the illustrations that were created. 

I was sure to magically make my food and drink invisible for this place.

London, People.

Last weekend I decided to take a few quick pictures as a small token to remember rare beauty found in the illustrious city of London.  

Enjoy!

Tween Mullet; Business in the front, party in the back!

This is George. He volunteers at the zoo and knows a lot about tigers. 

The Police are very serious here.

This man was hiding inside the exhibit. 

Think this beard is an impressive accomplishment?

Check out this rare gem!

Even more impressive and the official winner of Beard Spot London is...

Santa's cousin, Simon the professional bird-feeder. 

 

Scotsman playing bagpipes in Underground.

This City is a Zoo.

I went to London Saturday and met up with my friend Miranda and her mom, Sherri, who were visiting for a few days. We went to the London Zoo in Regent's Park, then had dinner and went shopping. I took a train from Hook to Waterloo Station, hopped on the Underground Bakerloo line, then walked past Madame Tussaud's, through the park and arrived at the zoo. Needless to say, the maze isn't too difficult if you have a map and know what you're doing(not that I did, but now I do).

These are the window mannequins at a store called TopShop: to those who have made fun of me for wearing dark tights, please take note- everyone wears tights or leggings here, with shorts, dresses, skirts, and overalls, so now I feel vindicated.

My inner city shopping radar leads me to Urban Outfitters no matter the state or country; this UK store is huge, we barely had time to get to the fourth floor.

Regent's Park; 410 acres of park that is home to ponds, sports fields, picnic areas, cafe's, an outdoor theater and 30,000 roses(400 different types). Henry VII choose the spot as his hunting ground but it was later turned into this amazing park.

Here were are on the Underground.

The carousel at the London Zoo. 

Here we are at a nice italian cafe near Oxford Street.

And YES ! All this weekend fun could be yours if you only come and visit me. SO there.

Might You Like Some Marmite?

Marmite, this is Sandwich, Sandwich, this is Marmite.

Nice to meet you both. NOT.

Have I tried Marmite? No. You wouldn't either if you got within twenty feet of its smell, which is terrible and similar to burnt rubber/week old roadkill. Its apparently made from yeast extract, or basically, the leftover junk from beer brewing. You do the math.

 1 + 1 = thick and nasty.  

This all spurs from making a sandwich with said appalling substance, and accidently putting what is considered way too much on it.

Recipe for a Marmite sandwich: 2 pieces of bread, buttered, then slap with a thin amount of Marmite, crusts cut off. Bannana, cucumber or cheese optional.

Result: Repulsive.

Stranger Danger

Apparently where I'm living has a high crime rate and the crimes that are committed are very malicious. I saw this sign posted in the main shopping area of the village and began to worry. 

Also, there is a different sort of classified ad system on the window of one of the little grocery stores; people are very clear with their listings:
Actually the area I'm in is pretty nice and there is very rarely a junky car, there are mostly BMW, Mercedes, VW and smart cars.

Vomitar:to vomit-Look, you know Spanish already!

This morning I woke up to a splitting headache and a spinning sensation that was really fun until five seconds after it began and I started vomiting. So, I've been resting all day and am feeling a bit better but wish I could pinpoint where this began - I blame lack of sushi...  

Those are real flowers.

The room is a pretty light yellow color but you can't tell from the pictures.

I haven't attempted to figure that Tv/dvd thing out, but there are some nifty electronic curtains in the skylights of my room that are intensely entertaining. 

Plane and Simple

The trek to England wasn't bad, although I am the type of person to make fun of people on planes as my primary form of in-flight entertainment.

On the flight to Minneapolis there was an obnoxious dentist who immediately announced he had just taken Vicodin, but thoroughly expressed his need for alcohol whilst loudly dictating his life story to the rest of the plane; he's the one who needed his mouth washed out because he cursed like a sailor at a volume that could be heard over the engine. Our stellar flight attendant, Cheryl was stereotypically smiley and listened intently to every word. Props for Cheryl- I could still hear that guy drowning on over my Ipod. 

The next flight was an overnighter into Heathrow, so I was hoping not to sit next to anyone(sleeping next to strangers isn't really my thing). To my utter satisfaction and joy no one was next to me so I had the window and the aisle seat. 

SCORE: Sarah Chorley, 2: Everyone Else, Zero.

I proceeded to receive vicious glares from the rather buxom lady sitting adjacent to me, squished between her long legged family members as I shamelessly lounged over my empty chair and commandeered the extra blanket resting in it. The stares worsened as I got my meals 2o minutes before everyone else, although I didn't eat much of them; the vegetarian option is supposed to be better but that makes me wonder, how disgustingly awful is the regular meal? Is it actually food? Will I get a disease from it and keel over before I reach my final destintion? Mine tasted nasty and looked worse, so I stuck with my deliciously homemade peanut butter sandwich.

On The Rocks, Please.

There I am scaling the wall, only a bit further to go.

Look at that skill.

I find this one to be particularly flattering of me. 

Jasmine fell from the wall and is now living in a body cast.

 Just kidding, she's fine and a pretty good climber. 

Jasmine and I mustered up the strength and courage to use the new auto-belay system at the gym, which is quite scary at first, but incredibly fun when one gets used to it. Just don't use it from far sides or there might be broken bones because the rope doesn't retract as quickly as a climber swings down and across. I almost hit the window. Besides that, its great fun. 

Why

Sometimes I just look at things in home decorating stores and have to ask WHY. Why, why, why. With this question freshly searing the inner cables of my mind, I have decided to document a few of my life questions regarding table lamps. 

Our first offender is a horse lamp, with the inner belly of the steed providing little useful light and therefore leading one to believe that the lamp is for decorative purposes; this leaves me asking, who decorates a room with statuettes of badly proportioned galloping ponies? 

Our next contestant on "Who Would Buy this Even with 70% Off" is a seemingly well made piece not unlike the golden calfs mentioned in the Bible. This modern day farm version in which the rooster is skewered as a kabab for those who like to carry around their pocket idols or attempt to eat them afterwards, is perfect for people allergic to real animals or unable to fulfill their lifelong dreams of owning chickens. Wavy accent lampshade available in red or any other color you see fit to compliment this weird thing-a-ma-jig, and female hens available on special order request.   

The next lamp seems to belong in the home of an elderly individual in which there are large collections of creepy Swarovski crystal and tempered glass figurines neatly arranged above wicker baskets of crossword puzzles and home recorded vhs tapes. Bulbs guaranteed to burn out during first two months of ownership. 



This lamp makes me hungry to visit the candy factories of Willy Wonka as I stare into the hypnotic beaded fringe. Useful for, let me see... absolutely nothing except a three dollar tax exemption at the local Goodwill 5 years after Great Auntie Ruthanne regifted it to you for Christmas '99
Why? 

How to Make Brownies: A Step by Step Tutorial

Step Juan: Be Prepared

Step Two: Avoid Vicious Renegade Pony Dogs
Step Three: Take Random Pictures While Kelsey Does All The Work



* Please note we are all wearing shorts it just looks like we aren't, that's why its funny, silly.
Step Five: Get Awesome Shoes That Make You 5'9''


Bon Appetit. 

TeethSchmeeth

Today started off with a bang because Hannah, my little sister, had six, yes six, teeth out(four of which were wisdom teeth). Everyone together now-O U C H. Recently having my wisdom teeth out, I definitely feel sympathetic towards her because it sucks, it sucks real bad. Our neighbor couldn't understand why it was so bad because he's missing several teeth as well and apparently hasn't suffered quite as much as Hannah and I have. 

   

SueShe

Today, my name twin, Sarah Chorley, and her husband(my brother)Timothy and I went to Asahi for sushi. We didn't end up eating all of the sushi we ordered but what we did eat was delicious. 

I think my little fish, Pedro Pablo Acosta Garcia III, might be getting upset with all the sushi lately because he looks like he's giving up on life; he used to swim quickly around the bowl and look happy to see me, but now he floats there, unfocused, goal-less, and depressed looking. He's almost two years old now and although I'm not sure of the average life span of the Beta, or what the ratio of human years is measured against fish years, I've noticed he seems to be slowing down with age.